Today’s Shot of Bizarre Homophobia
It’s been argued for years: What makes you either gay or straight, nature or nurture? I'm very pleased to report that Jim Rutz, head religio-honcho of MegaShift has finally settled the matter: It’s Tofu! A few quotes from his article:
There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture…The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place.I’m not sure whether to just let this stand for itself or to refute it. There are so many ways to attack it, that I don’t even know where to begin. For instance, there are many countries in the world that consume way more soy than the U.S. (East Asia, the indigenous source of soybeans) and they aren’t exactly gay hot spots; there is plenty of evidence that soy reduces the risks of cancer contrary to his claim in the article; there is no evidence that the gay population has actually grown, and even the growth in acknowledging GLBT orientations can’t possibly keep up the increases in soy production; or that the massive increase in soy production over the past 30 years is mainly used to feed cattle, pigs, and chickens that provide the meat that Rutz apparently prefers—if anything, it’s the cows that should be turning gay!
Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.
6 comments:
You gotta be kidding me. Is this for real?
Wow.
I bet there's another twist to the tofu story. It is too often consumed by using chopsticks...not helpful in the masculinity department. Real men use steak knives.
Not kidding! It's one of those things that's hard to believe but not so hard to believe at the same time! I think your chopstick theory is just about as compelling!
Space does not permit, but here are two things Mr. Rutz perspective gives us. First, it clearly opens some unique doors for “Christians” to identify homosexuals! Imagine, a real decrease in penis length caused by eating too much soy! Now, when people come to church, the only thing needed to find a man’s sexual orientation is a ruler. The homophobic churches who might be still willing to let homosexual men through the door could have a special section just for them. Particular pews could be set aside based on the size of a man’s penis. Then, after church, people could gather around them and have special prayers for their deliverance (but no laying on of hands type prayers, of course).
A second thing this perspective gives us is the ability to see if we’ve eaten too much soy. Please have Mr. Rutz tell us the standard length of homosexual identification and we could get out our rulers and decide whether or not we have to adjust our eating patterns.
Dad
are you sure this is not some mock news site like theonion.com (which is a good one, btw)? boy, if it's real, i'd say it's homophobia and xenophobia in one -- i'm sure at the back of his mind this also explains why asian men are effeminate! oh the many shades of yellow peril....
It's no joke, I'm afraid. Just spend a couple of minutes clicking through the rest of the site...
D- I can't follow that! -D
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